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This is Confidence……

24 Jan

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade n ext when his telephone rang.
“Hallo, Mr. Hussein!” a heavily accented voice said, “This is   Gurmukh from  Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring the war on you!”

“Well, Gurmukh,” Saddam replied, “This is indeed important news!  How big is your army”

“Right now,” said Gurmukh, after a moment’s calculation, “there is  myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbour Bhagat, and the entirekabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight”

Saddam paused. “I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men  in my army waiting to move on my command.”

“Arrey O! Main kya.. ” said Gurmukh. “I’ll have to ring you back!”

Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.”Mr. Hussein, it is Gurmukh, I’m call ing from Phagwara STD, the war  is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”

“And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh” Saddam asked.

“Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik’s tractor.”

Saddam sighed. “I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks  and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.”

“Oh teri ….” said Gurmukh. “I’ll have to get back to you.”

Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.”Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselve airborne…… We’ve modified Amrik’s tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pond’s generator. Four  school pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!”

Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must  tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”

“Tera pala hove….” said Gurmuk, “I’ll have to ring you back.”

Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.”Kiddan, Mr. Hussein! I am  sorry to tell you that we have had to call  off the war.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Saddam. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Well,” said Gurmukh, “we’ve all had a long chat over a couple of lassi’s, and decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners of wars!

 
4 Comments

Posted by on January 24, 2008 in Humour

 

4 responses to “This is Confidence……

  1. Mr Bojangles

    January 25, 2008 at 8:34 am

    Good one. Especially if you understand what sardarji’s reactions were to Saddam’s response. Very colorful.

    Reminds me of the American general and his troops who were surrounded by 8 enemy divisions during WW2. “All right men,” said the general. “The enemy’s on our left, they’re on our right, they’re in front of us, and they’re behind us… those poor bastards.”

     
  2. Zawi

    January 26, 2008 at 9:57 am

    Ashraf,
    If Gumruk were to be caught on tape he would say “It seemed like me, sounded like me but I can’t say it’s me”. The lassi must have got to him.

     
  3. cakapaje

    January 29, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    Lol! Bro, long time I’ve not dropped by. And when I did, I am met with an entire army of laughs! This reminds me of the british comedy ‘Only when I laugh’. Thanks bro!

     
  4. Ahsan Mukhtar

    June 18, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Ashraf
    this is the first time im visiting your site, well this is real funny, and been reading all of it, all the best!

     

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